GRIEF
over the loss of a loved one is often unmentionable
among Filipinos. It’s one topic that is not
widely discussed, much less expressed openly in blogs
or websites. But for Noemi Lardizabal-Dado, sharing
her experiences and reaching out to other people with
similar experiences helped her get through and overcome
one of life’s biggest challenges.
When
you visit Noemi’s blog (www.aboutmyrecovery.com)
for the first time, you’ll be touched by the
story behind it. Noemi’s youngest child, Luijoe,
was six when he died in a drowning accident in May
2000. As she says in her blog, “To even describe
the pain is not possible. The pain is gut-wrenching
and indescribable. My idea of grief was that one had
to keep inner feelings to oneself.” Though devastated,
she struggled to go on with life. The stories and
experiences she writes in her blog continue to inspire
many of her readers and other people.
Blogging as a medium for advocacy
After
the life changing tragedy, Noemi found a new way
to promote her advocacy of grief support –
through blogging. “Blogging was an idea that
I’ve thought about in 2000. But I couldn’t
write. I couldn’t find the word to express
myself. Or when I write I found it so painful.”
At the time of her grief renewal in 2005, she started
an advocacy group and founded Compassionate Friends.
“There are no local grief support groups so
I started one. I made a website and it was launched,
very successfully. We’ve had good media coverage
from print to broadcast. And I thought, blogging
was another medium of spreading my advocacy that
is grief support for the loss of a child, parents,
siblings or family.”
She clarifies that her blog was not her way of recovery.
“I’m already recovering but I wanted
to show the readers how I recovered and I want to
impart it to the public. That’s the main reason
why I’ve put up the blog. I cannot say that
I’m 100 percent recovered, because recovery
is still a work in progress, hindi talaga titigil
yan.”
And so Noemi’s personal blog, “Touched
by an Angel” emerged in February 2006. “Blog
is very dynamic. A memorial site is very static.
I’ve known a few parents who have also started
their grief recovery site.”
After only ten months of being online, her blog
won as the best website, blog category in the 9th
Philippine Web Awards last December. This year,
she garnered even more recognition as she won the
Best Blog-Personal Category in the Digital Filipino
Web Awards and the Globe Broadband Best Family blog
in the first Philippine Blog Awards. Right now,
she is one of the most popular and influential Pinoy
bloggers.
Her blogging success is a product of hard work.
Driven by her goal to popularize her advocacy, Noemi
reached out to other bloggers when she was just
starting. “I marketed my site. You cannot
just write there and expect people to find you.
I looked for popular bloggers, like Connie Veneracion
(who was behind of www.sassylawyer.com and www.houseonahill.net)
and Abe Olandres (of www.yugatech.com). I thought
that if I write intelligent comments they might
take a look at my site. It’s a simple way
of saying, “hey, look at my site.”
Veneracion, a pioneer blogger in the Philippines
looked at her site and changed things for Noemi.
“Connie talked about my blog in her website.
That was the turning point. I used to get like 80
hits a day lang when I started blogging in February
2006. From then on, it brought me a lot of readers.
It’s how I got introduced in the local blogosphere.
I just kept developing my content and commenting
in local websites. I only comment on sites that
I think might benefit from my content.”
Attending blog events helped her too. “I met
other bloggers face to face and I approach them
one by one. Slowly, I gathered readers.”
Helping
other people
Noemi ’s
“Touched by an Angel” has gone beyond
discussing grief but she says most of the content
there is related to it. “It’s about
my life. Because a lot of aspects of my life –
my financial situation, my relationship with my
children, my marriage – (were) affected, (my)investments,
even my attitude in life. All of that are all related
to grief recovery. Since I talk about my family,
my business and how I overcame my financial challenges.
Everything boils down to (life) the before and after
the death of my son.”
She discovered that readers related to her recovery
principles. and found her stories inspiring. They
found her entries inspiring, from her day-to-day
experiences with her family (her relationship with
her daughter, marriage, parenting) to her views
on current affairs, entertainment, culture and entrepreneurship.
Being well-traveled helps Noemi not run out of things
to write about.
And yet she returns to the purpose of her blog.
“I always turn my negative experiences into
something positive so other readers can learn or
not make the same mistakes that I did. Sharing my
stories is already a positive experience.”
She admits that people email her to ask for advice
or request for recipes. “They write me to
thank me on how I inspire them and some just like
to let out their problems. I tell them that I’m
no professional on giving advice on serious issues.
I write only based on my experiences and I’m
just a friend who wants to help.” Plus it
helps that she adopts a sensible tone, encouraging
comments on her entries and commendations on her
blog.
Active
social life
Noemi, who just turned 50,
also maintains several other blogs, some of which
are professional in nature – meaning, she
makes money off them. They include pinoyfoods.nimrodel.net
and shoppingfinds.nimrodel.net.
Her success as a blogger has also been a boon
to her social life. “I’m a lot busier
now and I go to a lot of places. Because of this
I gained new friends and I have friends from all
age groups now, from 20 to 65.”
She also gets invited to an assortment of events
which she dutifully chronicles in her blog. “I
chose those that I think will benefit me in my
life. I go to fitness events, health, financial
activities, cooking and food events. I don’t
have any qualms about it as a blogger because
I have to spread the word. And if I write about
these events, people will find me eventually because
I wrote about it.”
She is also often a guest in conferences and seminars
where she talks about family recovery, grief support
and blogging success.
Together with Veneracion and other blogging mothers,
Naomi put up the Pinoy Moms Network, a social
group of Pinoy mothers who blog.
A
family thing
Noemi’s daughters, Laurie, 21, and Mariella,
19, are bloggers as well. Her husband, Butchg, on
the other hand, helps update their food blog. “Blogging
has now become a part of our daily conversations.
We’re thinking of setting up a pet blog for
our dog and two cats since it’s a different
niche.”
The income that comes with her blogging efforts
is just a bonus according to Noemi. It’s the
fulfillment of her advocacy and the impact of her
blog that motivate her.
“I will be blogging until I die. I’m
writing about things that can really improve other
peoples’ lives because it’s based on
my experiences. They all get inspired because they
all have a story to tell.”
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